20 Ways to Hide That You're Pregnant (Or TTC)
- Storm Mackenzie
- Apr 10, 2020
- 5 min read
Ways to hide that you’re trying to conceive (or that you already have!)
When trying to conceive, sometimes we just aren’t ready to let our whole world know that we are in the baby making business. Whether you’re scared of their reactions, want it all to be a surprise, or something else is on your mind, it’s okay to want a little privacy. But what happens when you go from the regular Friday night drink with the girls to the sober driver? And then there’s the issues of hot tubs and sauna’s for your man and his oh-so-important swimmers.
Well, here are some ideas I found on how to hide that you’re trying. Some of these tips and tricks can also be used if you’re already pregnant and waiting for the big reveal.
1. Say you’re on antibiotics if someone asks why you aren’t drinking. If they ask why, you could act a little embarrassed and say you have a UTI (which, if you’re like me, probably wouldn’t be that much of a lie) or a ear infection you want to clear up. Plus, if you’re already pregnant, then a UTI would also help excuse your constant trips to the bathroom if that’s something bothering you in early pregnancy.
2. Be the sober driver. Once when I really didn’t feel like drinking but was being pressured for just one drink by my friends (this was back when I was a big drinker). I answered that I’d had a nightmare just a few nights ago where someone needed to get rushed to hospital, but everyone was too drunk to drive, and they’d ended up dying before we sobered up. I said I was being a little paranoid because of the dream. That got the drinkers off my back pretty quickly, and once they were drunk there wasn’t any more mention of it anyway.
3. Hold a glass, and have a fake sip or two (or a real sip or two, there’s not much evidence that incredibly low levels of alcohol can affect anything), but take it with you to the bathroom occasionally and empty it (we all know that club bathrooms are full of empty glasses), or slip it to your partner.
4. Say you’re too hung over from yesterday, and that your body isn’t ready for another drink so soon. Works as long as people don’t know that you were just chilling yesterday and absolutely not drinking.
5. Admit you’re on a diet, if your friends or family start asking why you’re skipping the junk food or avoiding the uncooked meats. Just say you’re trying to eat healthy. If they question the amount you’re eating, just say you tried the shake-a-day diet and all the crash diets, and this one just made you feel your best. If you’re having struggles with the meat side of things, say you’re giving vegetarianism a go.
6. Simply say you don’t feel like drinking.
7. Bring your own drinks already mixed in a cooler, but make sure they’re not alcoholic. I’ve pulled this off a few times, just turning up with sprite or even making it at the party in a glass, pretending I’d mixed in some vodka or liquor. If someone had a sip, I’d complain about how weak that drink was and mention I had to add more next time.
8. If you want an excuse to head home early, or avoid staying the night so you can drink, just say you have something important in the morning you have to get up early for. A doctors appointment, the plumber coming over to visit, or just that you have to skip into work. It’s an easy fix, and if you’re driving home then you have to remain sober.
9. Simply say you’re saving for something and can’t afford to drink. If someone offers you a drink, politely decline. I say something like “I could afford to drink if I wanted to, so do you go buying me drinks like I’m a charity case. I’ve just been really wanting this new game console and I’m putting that first”.
10. A little rash is a great idea to keep your partner out of the hot water. A little embarrassing, but a quick excuse. You need those little swimmers of his to be in top condition for baby making! Stole this one from TheBump, I’ve never been in or near a spa, so I didn’t even think of that issue some people might have until I read this list.
11. Drink decaf. Skipping on your coffee might be more obvious than avoiding the alcohol for some. Personally I’m more likely to grab a scotch than go near coffee (I’m allergic-ish to the stuff), but if you’re a regular coffee drinker, switch it out for some safe tea and say you’re giving tea a go, or just go decaf instead (though now I’m second guessing whether this is still safe for pregnancy… I’ll get back to you on that).
12. If you drink from cans, or even darker bottles, just empty them and switch out for water. As long as you’re holding a drink, no one will even notice.
13. Avoid parties and outings, if you are tired and can’t be bothered with the faking. Sometimes, being a hermit is just the easiest option.
14. If your sick of your friends thinking you’re a hermit, say you’re visiting a sick family member to help them out.
15. Switch your drink out with a non-alcoholic alternative.
16. Let the bar tender know you’re pregnant but haven’t told everyone the news yet. He might be able to help you out in any awkward moments later in the night.
17. Wear long sleeve shirts or jumpers, even better are the ones where you slip your thumb through a hole in the sleeve. That way you can wear those bands to reduce nausea through pressure points without anyone noticing. Though to be fair, you can get nausea for a few reasons, so if the spot them just say you’re feeling sick (and if they’re female mention that it’s a PMS symptom) and that your sick feeling is also the reason you won’t be drinking tonight.
18. Blame gastro. Nausea sucks, and vomiting sucks even more, but gastro is always to blame. Plus then you can race off to hide away from the world, and be excused for frequent bathroom trips.
19. Wear scarves and use props to hide your bump in photos.
20. Hide your emotional outbursts with excuses of ‘family drama’ and ‘it’s been a really long week, I think I just reached breaking point over something completely pointless’. Because that definitely still happens even when you’re not pregnant. Try not to cry over spilt milk, but I have definitely burst into tears because I dropped an empty plastic bowl and suddenly feel like a failure even though nothing got broken or spilt.
21. Just give up and tell the truth. If all else fails, pull the suspecting person aside and explain that you’re pregnant but not wanting to tell anyone because its early and you don’t want to get peoples hopes up. They should understand (hopefully).
Whilst trying to come up with other dot points for my little list, I found a hilarious little post that you all must read!
This was written by me back when I was hiding my pregnancy for months. I had my 21st birthday and had to hide a way to prominent belly bump for someone that was only 12 weeks along. I also was sober at a NYE party and didn't announce it to anyone until midnight when it finally become public through my New Years Resolution post on Facebook. It's difficult but definitely possible.
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